Saturday, 31 December 2016

What a Year

I appreciate that this post won't be the first or the last to lament on how 2016 will be an unforgettable year. And unfortunately, not in a good way.

From the untimely deaths of so many talented, kind, generous artists - the musicians, the writers, the producers, the comedians, the actors, the thinkers - the list seems somewhat endless. As someone on Twitter said, "2016 has officially killed the 80s".

Perhaps the most shocking was the political turmoil that gripped both here and across the pond. Brexit was, in my mind, straight out of a Monty Python farce, just not funny; and Trump gaining power? Someone needs to take his phone off him. I could wax lyrical on the matter but a good friend of mine eloquently wrote: "...He hasn't even taken power yet but since the election he has publicly dismissed the CIA and the UN while happy to align himself to Putin's Russia and support Israeli encroachment on Palestinian land. He is a racist, misogynistic, egotistical, power mad man with far less intelligence than he credits himself with. He has always considered himself #1 & put himself first and I don't believe he will change when he takes office..."

Time will and can only tell what his presidency will be like. I'm also hoping for an impeachment. This is a man who loves money. And he as to give up all links to his company - can he do it? Will he?

With all of these surprises of death, political controversy, continuing war, an onslaught of fake news, and pain, it's been difficult to remember the good times. And I have had quite a few...

The little miss starting, and loving every minute, of pre-school, how much she has grown both physically and mentally, receiving useful, encouraging criticism from three literary agents on my novel, chats with my nephew (even if he is 2 and a bit) sister and brother in law, my brother spending Christmas with us, catching up with friends and family. So much love and support from Hubby.

I suppose there has to be a balance, the Yin and Yang. It doesn't have to be amazing and earth shattering all the time.

So I'll take this opportunity to thank you for reading my posts. For letting me know your thoughts. I'm looking to next year to travel a bit more and make more of a mark in the literary world, so watch this space. I sincerely wish and hope that 2017 is a year that brings everyone more love, laughter and lots of sparkle.

Happy New Year everyone!

Monday, 14 November 2016

Christmas and the Toddler

With a toddler, Christmas becomes (even) more exciting or perhaps more worrisome?
As one of my favorite holidays, it’s certainly exciting. The tree, the decorations, the fairy lights – all will prove to be an enjoyable (and dare I mention possibly expensive) time ahead.
And even though the Christmas season is not quite with us, I’ve so far noted the following things…
  • Santa exists. Especially when you feed the line of “let’s get rid of some of your toys so Santa can consider leaving you a new one, maybe two.” The response? “Okay!”
  • Invariably the introduction of the jolly Saint Nick leads to the repetition of; “so Santa will come to my house?” and “Santa leave me presents?” every few hours.
  • Ideas on how to get on the ‘Nice List’ can come from films. Inspired by Arthur Christmas I said to the little miss, “see how the elves scan to see if the child is good, well, that’s what will happen come Christmas Eve.” It was only afterwards did I wonder if she would become freaked out by a bunch of small people with weird ears rolling into the bedroom armed with scanners. Ah well…
How the myth continues: I’m either a genius or very good at being deceptive…
  • Whilst out and about the other day, I noticed some Christmas wrapping paper and so did the little miss. I asked her “which one do you like? Frozen or Minions?” “hmm, Frozen. I love Frozen.” “Okay, I’ll let Santa know so he can wrap your presents in it.” (I'm going with genius.)
From my withering on about the fat (sorry, weight challenged) bloke in the red and white suit and how I'll let him know what's going on, I'm certainly giving the impression that I have a direct hotline to the man. Not a bad idea I suppose. I'm just wondering what will be my bargaining chip come December 26th!
Oh and a final point...erm, teach (your) toddler the CORRECT words for Christmas songs. I'm regretting singing "Jingle Bells, Santa smells, Rudolph did a pooh...!" Whilst we had a real belly laugh over it, she is now repeating the lines rather a lot. Thankfully, her pronunciation isn't great...

Thursday, 20 October 2016

And the 45th President is...

I can see why people like what Trump is saying.

In the final presidential debate he was not necessarily eloquent, but he said the right words and phrases that appeal to the people who feel downtrodden by an economy that only seems to help the already rich, believe immigrants are better off then they are, a failing police force and don't like the US involvement in various wars.

Listening to the CNN political commentators, two of whom are Trump supporters, give their feedback afterwards was fascinating. Fascinating because they all heard the same talk but received it differently. The majority of the panel were up in arms that he did not (and would not?) accept the election results. And comments of 'hombres' and 'nasty woman' were also banded around. These were regarded as a slap in the face to the democratic process and the American way.

But one thing I heard and was an interesting point. They all commended Trump on how he presented himself at the beginning of the debate. He was calm, he answered questions and then towards the end, he interrupted Hillary, talking over her (yes, she did the same..) he used offensive language (and I'm not just talking 'hombres', I'm referencing the part where he said 'babies are ripped out from the woman'...) and behaved like a little boy who has been told he won't be getting ice-cream.

His rhetoric has to be applauded - how else did he become the presidential candidate? Yet it has incited violence, intolerance and uncertainty. Are these really the qualities (the American) people want from their president?

Does America really want a President - a person who will represent one of the largest economies in the western world, who will represent all its citizens regardless of class, color, or creed - who can only be civil for 40 minutes?

If Trump wins, I foresee a huge drop in the dollar, Putin rubbing his hands in glee and the rest of the world hanging their in head in dismay. If he doesn't win, then there will be angry, violent outbursts against immigrants and people of color and general disobedience.

The mud slinging, the insults, the lies, the back tracking, the lack of clear polices and how they will be executed/introduced has made this presidential campaign an ugly and dreadful one.

Friday, 13 May 2016

Conversations with a toddler...

...and other such musings.


The Little Miss:"ow!"
Daddy: "well, if you run your yellow car across your toes like that, it will hurt."

An Affair?

When Dolly (Parton) released the song "Jolene" back in the 70s, I'm pretty sure there was little speculation about her husband having an affair. So how come when BeyoncĂ© releases her album and the track "Don't Hurt Yourself", there is so many theories and dire warnings of an impending divorce? Practically every celebrity has some drama attached to them. Getting quite bored of it.

Political Powers

I can't believe that Donald Trump will be the Republican nominee. There is so much to say yet I don't know where to begin. However, one thing that really irks me is how much attention the media (read: CNN) give to him. There are no concrete policies, viewpoints or ideas that warrant this much air time, yet guaranteed, he will be discussed the most. The man has no political background and yet he's expected to speak to the Senate, Congress, other world leaders in a professional manner, should he succeed? As one interviewee said, "...and this is the man we should give the nuclear codes to?" I'm scared for me, my daughter (an American citizen), for America and the world should he be voted in as President of the United States.


Starbucks' new membership has caused some furor. And I can understand why if you're a casual drinker of this particular brand. Before you could come in and get a star for each drink. Get 12 (stars), your 'gold' status was renewed and you got a free drink. Now you have to get 125 stars to get that free drink but every time you get a coffee, you get two stars for every $1 spent. Unless I've calculated it incorrectly, and I may well have as maths was not one of my best subjects, I don't think it's too bad a deal for a regular customer...

A Bit of TV

I've discovered the final series of Haven (a sci-fi program) is now on Netflix. But then reality sets in. The only way I can watch it in peace is if I set my alarm for about 1am because the Little Miss will definitely not wake up for another few hours. As it is I can't watch Jeopardy without her muttering, "I don't like Jep-dee Mommy, I don't like it." Why? When the program ends, it's her bed time...supposedly...

Tuesday, 3 May 2016

Not Quite the Birthday Blues

As I celebrate my birthday, it is tinged with sadness.
Whilst I’m more than happy to spend the day with Hubby and the Little Miss, I can’t help but reflect that this is my first birthday without Dad and my third without Mum. Without fail I would get a card from them and a phone call.
I was tempted to get an old card out but realized that would just be silly. Yet, perhaps understandable? I don’t know.
Birthday’s growing up were always such fun for everyone in our home. When that special day arrived, they would come downstairs to find the living room filled with bunches of balloons and streamers. Mum started the tradition and it never stopped. The only changes were how many balloons were put up and where the banner would be placed.
One year we almost gave Mum a heart attack. It was her 50th and my sister and I waited for her to come down, when she opened the door we pulled the string on a couple of poppers shouting ‘Happy Birthday!’ In her unique way of expressing things, she gasped, ‘she stupid girls, y’all almos’ kill’ me!’ but with a huge grin on her face.
As we got older, we would take over the inflating of the balloons and under Mum’s direction where to place them. Including Dad, who rarely showed he was happy to have these decorations, looked forward to seeing them – okay maybe that was me?
My desire to do anything creative soon took over as I made banners – a train for Dad one year, roses for Mum another – all with just the sheer pleasure of making my family happy.
So whilst I am a little sad, I know that I will certainly carry on this tradition. Hubby had a Batman theme and as soon as the little Miss’s birthday finished last year I was planning what theme to have for her third (birthday). I’m still thinking. At the moment she’s into Spiderman (I know…), Bubble Guppies and Octonauts. I’m thinking we’ll forgo the webbed wonder and combine the guppies and Captain Barnacles et al…they are, after all, under the sea…oh, The Little Mermaid – hmm…

Thursday, 4 February 2016

They've Gone

Let laughter be the light in all this
dark and sadness.
The pilot announced that we had landed at Boston Logan and I cried.

Cried because it was really real that Dad was no longer here. And he was always there. Each time I left for the US he would give me money for the taxi (no arguments) and he'd send me off with a smile and a 'call me when you get there'. I got 'there' and he wasn't there for me to call.

How do I feel now that both Mum and Dad have knocked on the pearly gates? Lost, empty, grateful. When I say 'grateful' I simply mean all that they did for me; providing a warm, loving home, an education, teaching right from wrong.

I know many will say with kindness and good intention that I have a wonderful husband, a beautiful daughter. And I'm not unappreciative of what is mine - a roof over my head and food on the table - it's a lot more than some have; but the fact of the matter is, they/it won't replace my parents. There is a void in my heart that no-one can fill.

I know many have lost their parents, I'm not the first and I won't be the last. However, I feel a particular wrench because it's only been two years since Mum passed away. I was more accepting of Dad's passing, especially when the consultant said "we'll see how he is over the next 48hours." I acknowledged the statement as he wasn't expecting Dad to last much longer.

As I emptied the house of their clothes, mementos, paperwork (oh Lord the paperwork), the home that I grew up in, quickly became a house. I shed tears as I locked the front door as I remembered when I left the UK back in November, I looked at Dad from the car. He sat in his chair and was smiling. And the thought fleeted through my mind, it was the last time I would be seeing him.

So there it is, they've gone. My mind is beginning to come around to the idea of getting on with living. I have to for the sake of their grandchild otherwise they'd come back and have words with me!

I miss them.