Monday, 17 May 2010

I Really Am Dodgy!

After four long months, I finally packed my bags and headed for the airport in nervous anticipation that Mr Ash wouldn't cause too much of an annoyance at the airport and indeed to my flight!

I don't really like flying...I'm Taurean - solid earth is my friend, so I tried not to think too much about being in a metal canister at 30,000 odd feet above said earth, trying to avoid Mr Ash.

I said a sad goodbye to Mother, Father and Brother and tried not to break down in floods of tears...keep smiling...! Once through the security barriers, alas the tears came flooding down and I stared at the floor as I shuffled towards having to half undress to walk through a metal door.

I pulled myself together to ask whether I needed to take my shoes off...apparently not! Great, I was happy about that; as much as I am 100% for airport security, taking my shoes off can be a bit of pain. I mooched through and the depression took me over again. As I grabbed my coat and tried to put my passport back into my bag, a security officer asked to look at my other bag. I didn't even look at him, just mumbled yeah, sure and handed him my carry-on. He rubbed the bag with his big cotton pad and said all was ok...I mumbled again, great, thanks and bless, he tried to engage me by telling me to have a good flight but I just smiled faintly and ambled off to the Duty Free shopping.

I paid the extra to go Premimum Economy on Virgin Atlantic. Well worth soon as you settled into the well spaced seats, you were offered a complimentary glass of champagne, fruit juice or water. Moments after take off, you were presented with a menu so you could make a decision on your main course. Very civilised in comparison to economy when the trolley just pushes past and you were told your choice. Dessert was a Gu pudding plus cheese & crackers - oh ain't we posh! An hour after lunch, flight attendants went around with a choice of fruit and an hour before landing - we were served with tea/coffee a cookie or a chocolate brownie.

Minor issue, the pilot landed a little too fast for my liking...I started to press my foot down, thinking ok, lady (obviously from that you can tell it was a female pilot), do you wanna find those breaks - you're very near water! The BA pilot from January had a much better handle of things (cue debate).

So, I arrived in Boston on Wednesday 12th - avoiding Mr Ash and now looking forward to reuniting with Mr Ayre. I stood in line hoping that I would get through immigration without any problems.

I didn't.

Never smile at the men and women in immigration - I did and never again will I do so. I stepped in front of the immigration officer and having looked at my US Visa, he asked my why I went back to the UK? I thought er, I still live there technically... The question did throw me slightly and I stuttered replying I had to finish off my contract..."Your what?' he replied..."Er, work, I had to finish work.." what else does contract mean, I wondered?

He obviously didn't like my answer; he got our his red marker, wrote PAX 1 across it and said - "follow the blue line to second immigration check"

Bloody I followed the blue line and joined the other 'dodgy' looking people in the "second immigration check" room. After waiting for 15mins, the first immigration officer (IO1) said my name...well, tried too...the second immigration officer IO2, took my passport off him and scanned the room. He matched my picture to me and said "ma'am" and beckoned me to the front. I went to the desk and IO2 said "is it Ayre?" I said yes, he turned to IO1 and said "hey, you could try that". I tried not to smile. And then the following took place:

IO2 - (still holding my passport) Georgetown - where's that?
Me - Guyana...South America
IO2 - why'd you leave?
Me - oh, politcal unrest
My mind - why did I say that - do you know where you are?
IO2 - political unrest? Hmmm...(hands passport to IO1 and walks away)
IO1 - political unrest?
Me - a mum and dad left in 1979...
IO1 - oh (starts to look at my passport), that's ok
My mind - phew
IO2 - starts walking back muttering political unrest
IO1 - how long have you worked with Resources?
Me - that's my husbands work place, I don't work for them
IO1 - oh yeah it says you're on a H4 visa (continues to look at passport)
My mind - oy-vay, how long is this going to take?
IO1 - oh, happy belated birthday, a week ago
Me - (smile) thanks
IO2 - (interrupts) hey man, how come so many are here?
IO1 - I'm workin' on three already, they don't speak English
IO2 - yeah, but we got get on
IO1 - well, I'm doin' what I can, I'm dealing with this lady quickly cause she can speak English
My mind - don't smile, don't smile...
IO1 - that's all fine ma'am - have a pleasant stay.

I thanked him, grabbed my suitcases and headed for the exit. I walked out and Hubby was waiting with a "what did you do" look on his face.

I started to laugh as I said to him that I obviously did look very dodgy...welcome to America - land of the free?